Whooves as Dr. Yi Suchong. Admit it, you're laughing at the thought. Okay, the lack of broken English kinda lessens it…
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Doctor Whooves Audio Diary: Entry 7
Wow, that's quite a little monster Pinkamenas dug up. When she does speak, which is almost never, she sounds like she was dropped on her head as a filly. Her mane and tail is absolutely filthy, and she seems to wear the same mustard-stained jumper day after day. However, its for her own protection that she shows a minimum amount of skin. I mean, we dont want her little secret getting out now. Rapture is a city of ONLY earth ponies, and the fact that she is, WAS, a pegasus could get her killed if anypony here were to find out. From what I understand, that insane pegasai hacked off her own wings in an absolutely insane attempt to pass as an earth pony, so she could get in here. I swear, she must be head-over-hooves in love or just plain obsessed with me, for her to chop off her own damn wings just so she could come down here to be with me. Anyway, I've got to hand it to Pinks: Derpy Hooves is the all-time diamond in the rough. No formal training, no experience… but put her in front of a gene sequence, and she's Mozart at the harpsichord.
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Doctor Whooves Audio Diary: Entry 8
War is a terrible thing. This little war here between Applejack and Pinkie Pie is a terrible thing too, but not for me. Everypony is scared now. Everypony needs ADAM; more than the Little Fillies can make. The good news, however, is that war makes lots of corpses. I know ways to recycle ADAM from corpses, but I can't send Little Fillies out on to the streets unprotected. I must think on this…
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Doctor Whooves Audio Diary: Entry 9sighswhat happened to those two mares, Applejack and Pinkie Pie? I mean, they were bearers of two of the elements of harmony honesty and laughter from what little I knew of them, they were damn heroes, and close friends now look at them; their both insane, power-hungry mules that are trying to kill each other over control of this goddess-forsaken city… aw hell, what do I care? As long as either of them continues to fund my experiments, they can do whatever the hell they want to each other
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Doctor Whooves Audio Diary: Entry 11
Okay, here is my Problem: The Little Fillies are repulsed by the look and smell of corpses. I must find a way to make their gathering tasks more… attractive Maybe if we program them to see bodies as something more appealing: kitty cats, chocolate bars, or some other stupid thing these foals enjoy. Ill see what Derpy can do with them
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Doctor Whooves Audio Diary: Entry 14
Applejack sent over extra munitions. She must suspect trouble or something. I've locked them up near the Protector Labs and set the code to 1921. I don't expect we'll ever need them though. Once the Big Stallion is ready, nopony would dare cross the Big Stallion.
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Doctor Whooves Audio Diary: Entry 19
Eurgh The Big Stallions make a terrible stink, very smelly. Maybe something can be done about that, but Little Fillies seem to like the odor. Now we have to find recruits… once you become a Big Stallion, it's a one-way street. But Applejack says, Don't yall worry one bit, recruits ill be no problem.. That Applejack — she's a good mare.
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Doctor Whooves Audio Diary: Entry 21
Luna dammit! The Big Stallion boots need to be shipped here, not to the damn library! What kind of idiots is Applejack hiring nowadays? This kind of horse-crap never happens under Pinkamena.
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Doctor Whooves Audio Diary: Entry 23
I just got word that Derpy Hooves has gone missing Also heard that she and Pinkamena had a falling out recently. Im guessing that the ex-pegasus must have pissed off Miss Pinkamena enough that she had her killed Poor girl Anyway, note to self: never piss off Pinkamena. That pink mare scares me sometimes
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Doctor Whooves Audio Diary: Entry 24
Pinkamena may be a scary son-of-a-mule, but Applejack is cheap son-of-a-mule. You can NOT reuse the protector suit. You take a stallion, and graft the skin and organs straight into the suit; otherwise the suit does not work. Applejack says that the Big Stallion is too expensive. Applejack can go suck an egg!
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Doctor Whooves Audio Diary: Entry 30
Well, Pinkamena is dead. Hmmm Bad for Pinkamena, Good for Doctor Whooves. I just got to play hard-to-get for a bit, then Miss Applejack will get hungry for me. Poor little Derpy Hooves is gone, Pinkamena is gone, and I am the only one who knows all about the Little Fillies. Like I said, this is very good for me.
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Doctor Whooves Audio Diary: Entry 35
Clinical Trial Protector System Plasmid Lot 255 Doctor Whooves/client Applejack Industries. Todays been a very frustrating day. I just can't seem to get the damn Big Stallions to imprint on the little brats. The protection bond is just not forming…
Papa Whooves!
Get, get away… maybe if I modify the genetic sequence to…
Papa Whooves!
Shush, shoo… sequence to allow for…
Papa Whooves! Papa Whooves! Papa Whooves!
Get away you filthy little mule! smacks Little Filly. Little Filly starts to cry …What? Big Stallion roars What are you doing? Get back… get back!!! AARRGHHHH!!!—