Auto-imported from (1066062)

Dear diary,

I lied. To an inquiry board, no less. About a felony. I can’t say I feel great about it.

The cover story worked well enough. I told them I’d arrived in time, subdued Azl and stopped him before he could get the artifact. That part was true enough,after a fashion. I did keep him from getting it. As far as Equestria is concerned, it’s buried in that temple somewhere, where the Sphinx left it. It’s not though. I took it with me. Somehow it didn’t feel safe to leave it behind. I still don’t know what it is, but I think Kite does. I’d rather keep it with her than in a hole somewhere, there’s no telling who was watching us.

Tezza removed the venom from my blood before I transformed. I have that now, too, in a little glass jar. According to her, it’s already maturated. All I have to do is drink it, and the process will complete itself. She told me to hang onto it, “In case of emergency.” I know better. She just wants the temptation of it near by so that, someday, in some moment of weakness, I’ll try it. Just for the experience. She knows I collect experiences. It’s a pretty transparent ploy. I should frankly get rid of it, I know how dangerous it is.

I haven’t yet, though. In case of emergency.

The bugger of it all is, I can list a dozen different reasons why I lied that all make perfect sense. I didn’t want to draw attention to Malachite, for instance. She’s already considered an alien presence in Equestria and I don’t want her on record as something “dangerous.” She grew another tail after this thing. I have no idea why or how, or what specifically caused it, but it happened. That might be excuse enough alone for somepony to try and take her away “for observation.” I don’t want to add more fuel to that fire. The fewer times she’s mentioned in an official report, the better.


And there was no harm done with Tezza, either. Trying to make a vivid pony is a serious crime, she’d be looking at a substantial sentence if she were convicted. But she wasn’t being malicious. Azl was, and he’s going to pay for it. I was cured before anything bad happened, and Azl’s grip on his own vivid pony expired when he wasn’t able to renew her venom. No harm, no foul, the problem is over and there’s no point in dragging out new ones.

I know the real reason, though.

It’s because I made the pony choice. Because I believe in the pony choice. In Equestria, the pony choice works. Here, that’s what we do. We have faith, and we have trust, and it makes amazing things happen. Here, I can bet the safety of our whole nation on my friendship with somepony, and I’ll get a medal for it. But it’s not the only choice. Tezza made the coatl choice. She weighed her options and picked the greatest strategic advantage she could find with the highest chance of protecting the most people from the greatest threat, at the least cost. That I didn’t volunteer is not an aspect of that decision; I was a necessary factor in an equation designed to save lives, I don’t get the option to refuse.

Equestria would send her to prison for that. There wouldn’t even be an appeal.

I can’t.

I understand it. I even agree with it. And I’m not supposed to. It’s not the pony way.

I lied, because I made the pony choice, and for the life of me, I think I chose wrong. I bet Equestria on luck, and even though it worked, I don’t want to be celebrated for that. I believe in Equestria, more than any pony I know. I love our people, I follow our traditions, I celebrate our culture. But I think, maybe, running into Tezza again reminded me just how native I went while in her homeland, and this trial, my fake story, has made me realize that I made my choices because I recognized their validity. There is a part of me that belongs to Equestria, but somewhere deep inside, there’s a part of me that belongs to that jungle too. Those people. Equestria would have me feel ashamed of that part. I don’t.

It’s funny, I haven’t spoken the coatl language in months before this little incident. Came back just like that. Accent is a little messy though.

But I can get that back, too.

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31) you are here

Upvotes at import: 11 | Stars at import: 5
Posted previously at: 2016-01-13T23:58:56 | Posted previously by: kleptomage