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Sometimes it is best to ruminate upon our own self worth, and the doubts that dwell within the confines of the area between our ears, or more horrifying still, the ones which lurk within the depths of our hearts. We by nature bottle up little things, things we are not proud of, things we wish the world wouldn’t know, things that we feel make us less than we wish to see ourselves as — often without true justification beyond misplaced feelings or expectations of the worst the world has to offer us.

Captain?

It’s never healthy, but we do it anyway, sometimes to make those around us feel more at ease, sometimes in a vain hope of avoiding facing the beast in our souls. The beast that binds us and whispers little lies that slowly congeal into larger ones, and from there they surround us, wrap us in coils and crush the life from us until we concede, until we’re willing to believe those lies solely because we’ve told ourselves them so long that we reason they must be true.

The questions of earlier began to eat away at the exhaustion weakened defenses of the mind.

It’s complicated.

Is it really though? Or have we just told ourselves that for so long that what was once a minor doubt, became a leviathan that casts it’s shadow across our hearts?

Captain?

It’s complicated.

Do you really believe that it is captain?

Even still you must face your own doubts, less they consume you whole and drag what is left of you to a dark grave you dug yourself with each moment of denial.

It’s complicated…

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Posted previously at: 2017-07-17T10:02:32 | Posted previously by: Lamplight