It was clear as day that Honeycrisp was head over hooves for Solomon. Every time he came over she started sweating like a sinner in church…then again, so did he. It gave Somerset Sour Cider SO MUCH material to work with.
This time, they began by trotting over to Honey’s side and picking up a cup of hot apple cider with their plum-colored magic. They took an exaggerated sip purely to get Honeys attention.
“Yes?” Honey asked with an irritated edge. “What’re you up to this time?”
"Mind your manners sis, I just have a word of advice. Celestia willing and the creek don't rise, you and Buck-Teeth over there MIGHT work out. Provided you don't mind getting three sheets to the wind to stand looking at that mug, or vice-versa." Somerset had no issue insulting Honey, or Solomon for that matter, right to her face.
From across the table, Solomon’s ears pricked up to listen in as Discovery remained oblivious as ever.
“Somerset, cut the hooey. Solomon’s company. Can’t ya just leave him alone for once? Leave us alone?”
"What kind of sibling would I be to stop my sis from gettin’ with a tall drink of water who makes her happier than a puppy with two peckers? You've got a hankerin' for him and I ain't got a dog in that fight. That's why no, I can't just leave ya'll alone. Especially not when you're using that long flamingo nape of yours to rubberneck that wagon wreck every time he steps hoof in here!"
Unfortunately. Somerset wasn't aware of how well mule ears worked…
“What’s this about a wagon wreck?” Somerset turned around to find a tall, lanky mule looming behind them.
Somerset’s heart dropped, but they tried not to let the sudden shock get to them. They had been caught, so there was no chance of pulling the wool over Solomon’s eyes as they constantly did to Discovery.
Considering this, Somerset stood tall and stared deeply into the Mules deep mauve eyes, "Wagon wreck. Wagon as in a vehicle used for transporting goods or another specified purpose, and wreck as in something, especially a vehicle, that has been badly damaged or destroyed. Wagon wreck as in you with those silo ears and bottle-opener teeth."
“Excuse me?” Solomon’s normally nerdy, awkward frame appeared downright menacing now. “Do you have nothing better to do than pick on others? Especially your sister? I see your family being nothing but cordial and loving towards you, and you treat them horribly!” He flared his wings for emphasis. “Say what you will about me. I’m used to it. But do us all a favor and leave Honey alone!”
Somerset’s tail began to shake, a tell-tale sign that they were nervous. The little ginger menace showed their usual stunning resolve, trying not to let the foreboding feeling overtake as they spoke one last time. "Correction, egg-sucker, don't catch a burr in your saddle. I only treat Honey horribly. If she decides to make the mistake of choosin’ you out of every stallion, mule or not, in Equestria. Then the two of you should get the hay out of OUR farmhouse and meet at Sugarcube Corner sometime." What Somerset just did was jaw-dropping, but they trotted off before any response could be given.
*
”Whoa Nelly…nopony’s ever made Somerset that nervous before! Look at ‘em” Honey stood slack-jawed.
”I just couldn’t stand to see you get tormented like that, by your family no less…” Solomon quickly reverted back to his normal awkward state with Somerset out of sight. “I know how that feels. Sorry if I was a bit, uh, harsh.”
”No, you’re perfect! I mean, you were perfect. Standin’ up for me like that.”
“Really?”
”Yep!” Honey planted a kiss on Solomon’s cheek. “I owe ya one, Solomon. By the way, how would a date at Sugarcube Corner sound?”
Overcome with glee, Solomon’s only response was an excited whinny and furious nodding.
“I take that as a yes?”