"Oh, Guardian of Knowledge, I have travelled far and wide, across the seven seas and the four winds, and through myriad threats and hazards, in search of your Library of Mirages. Now that I have found it at the right time, otherwise which I would be only walking through thin air, may I borrow at least some of your works?"
"Sure, just look for the row for "Ultimate Knowledge and Ancient Secrets" to my right. You better return them before Midsummer's Day, or I will hunt your sorry hide, dweeb!"