I'm in a good mood, this is a good sign)
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I don't yet know whether to make it a separate story or part of a great story. Because I have this. Great, for many pages. Hmm, I'll think about it.
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I love the sketch style. Because I can do as much detail as I can master later. Because if you make a sketch difficult, then the next stages of creating art will be done longer. So I developed a long time ago such a style where I almost do not create any delays and everything looks quite normal.
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By the way, I have no idea how to write dialects and do not really know how to make a text sound more professional. I will later invite a person who understands this and rewrites the pages. It can wait though.
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By the way, pay attention to detailing the costumes. I'm not stingy at the meaning of what the characters are wearing, what they use, what's in the room or around. Of course, the background is usually not important — someone would say who is looking for easy ways. Like the text, since many do not read the dialogs at all — an even lazier person would say. And the script is not necessary — would say .. well .. most of the artists, to be honest. I have a lot of practice in dealing with creativity. The main thing is a challenge in work, if you can do something fast and easy, it will be done badly. Don't relax and lose your vigilance. Because when something is done badly — the viewer will feel it. And just leave you. Sooner or later. This is especially noticeable when you keep large groups of people.