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Seriously though, this one could’ve been so much better.

I mean sure, there’s good things in it. One would argue the action and the special effects almost make this movie genuinely watchable, but there’s way too many morose characters acting in morose scenes, and the attempt to making this grimdark turns it into a parody of itself.

That Matthew McCona-no-idea-what’s-his-name is pretty cool though. It sucks he’s in the movie so little and we’re stuck with Christian “not Batman yet” Bale.

And now, if you excuse me, I’m going to cuddle up here and wait for Dragonlord Ember and Smolder to leave. I don’t trust them bursting a flame or two out of nowhere.

Ask Movie Slate — Episode 233 — Reign of Fire

Today's Movie Slate is brought to you thanks to
Oh boy, what date does it say there? 2018? Ah well, you can ignore that one and hey look! A Movie Slate update in December that has jack all to do with Christmas. I think I've gotten over the whole seasonal thing regarding this blog, and I've also been sitting on a couple of updates that I never had the time and opportunity to share about. Just so you get an idea, this was meant to be posted after the "Dragonheart" update that went up about a year ago. That should tell you something about the absolute mess that the blog has been over the past few months. Thank you Tumblr! And your completely useless methods to keep the children safe. You bunch of creeps. Anyways, yeah! Dragons! Lots of fun drawing these two, I hope I get the chance to draw them again in the future. Who knows? I mean the show may be over but that's not stopping me from drawing them. Now carpal tunnel syndrome? That will be a definite stopper to my plans!

I think the biggest failing of _""Reign of Fire was trying to be too commercial and not fringe enough. For the longest I tried to figure out if this movie was an underrated gem, or a botched idea that could've been so much better than what we got in the end. I think it's something in the middle, not the worst movie of all time but definitely a disappointment for such a good yet absolutely batshit insane premise. The sales pitch must've sent several executives rolling out the meeting room. It's "Mad Max" with dragons, and way more British accents. But rather than talking about what was in the minds of those who put this thing together lets talk about the thing in question.

Right off the bat I will say this. The special effects are great, and the music is downright fantastic. There is a good amount of practical effects being used, like real fire for the dragon scenes, and animatronics and real sets used for the dead dragons, as well as a ton of great shots of these guys looking downright magnificent. This may be in big part because the movie's shot very murky, which when I think about it is kind of the mark of the early 2000's. Lots of movies with a very muted palette and barely any colour in them. Except when the dragons show up, and boy it looks like that decision was intentional, because their scenes are great. The music is perhaps the best character in the entire movie. None of that melancholy or softness, no chants or choirs or voices trying to make things feel dramatic. Instead the soundtrack is strong, thumping and right to your skull. It's like having a stampede run through your ears anytime those cymbals start hammering. I remember buying it on CD and listening to it all the time, it was so good.

But that's about it, really. I don't think there's enough space for me to go into detail, but I'd call this movie one of the best examples of why the "Mad Max Knock off" genre should have never took off in the first place. In many regards this movie reminds me of "Waterworld", with their morose characters, lack of humour, sense of identity or likeability. The only character in the movie that carries a certain level of impact is that one played by Matthew McConaughey, but that's only because of who's playing it. Everyone else acts like they are on auto-pilot, especially Isabella Scorupco who's just so bad. On top of that, and I mentioned this before, the cinematography is really ugly most of the time, with a lot of greys and browns and not enough variation in the visuals. This makes the movie feel repetitive, even at a mere hour and a half it feels needlessly long. The world building isn't very good either. It's one of those movies that feels there's conflict happening only when the cameras started rolling, and everything beforehand was just fine. Tonally wise it's all over the place, character motivations are unclear at best, and I could go on for a while but I suspect if I do so I will end up burying myself in a hole made out of my own misery. I hate to be a bummer, I really despise having to be that guy, but I find myself enjoying this movie less and less, and it's always been like this for me. I guess I'd call it a guilty pleasure, and could do ignoring all the flaws for the couple of things I genuinely enjoy, but overall I don't think this movie is very good. Is it entertaining to watch? I…guess?

Buried underneath all the fiery rubble there is a wonderful concept for a strong badass modern fantasy movie, but the whole thing doesn't take off as much as it combusts itself in mid-lift-off. While it got relegated to be a perennial presence in video stores, and now trapped in the endless scrolling menus of Netflix, "Reign of Fire" could be fun, but it's certainly not for everyone.

Upvotes at import: 84 | Stars at import: 56
Posted previously at: 2019-12-12T21:15:51