Now it's personal.
Back in my early teens to early 20s, I wished that I was a mobster. I've wrote journals years ago talked about how I was bullied in school and treated very badly everywhere I go. I was beaten up in school, bullied many times that I can remember that I was almost half dead in middle school and not many teachers did anything about these bullies. When I went to high school, bullies got worst. To defend myself, I have to step up and be as scary as possible at to the point no one will touch me. I was a quiet kid, others thought it was funny to pick on me. Especially during 10th grade, it was my darkest time of the year, my parents got divorce, my father basically threatening my family and I was depressed. And in school these kids thought it was funny to mess with me, so I made a threat as a warning. Refusing that warning I would attack. They thought it was funny and kept going on with nasty offensive comments and then throwing paper balls at me and guess what I did? I picked up the desk-chair and violently threw it at them and went at them like I was going to finish them off. After that, they were so scared that they left me alone for good from that day but that didn't stop the other kids. You know kids, they love entertainment. They want it, and so they got it. Throughout those years in high school, everyone was so afraid of me that I hardly had any friends. Rumors was saying that I might be a real gangster. No one came near me, not even the big tough kids dared to mess with me. Heck, even the school security guards were afraid of me. Let me tell you, I was very violent kid in the whole school. I was select for random search on certain days to make sure I didn't bring any weapons to school and that was ONLY ME, no one else did. I was that serious and I wasn't proud of that. Never ever, do anything like this please, that was my biggest mistake as a teenager. Why I did it? To protect myself because I got no one to go to.