“I’m really sorry this so short noticed, but I have no other choice Discord!” said Fluttershy from inside the closet, obliviously tossing her things behind her as she frantically searched.
Ducking a pair of shoes that nearly knocked him up the head, Discord huffed. “ You’re only choice? Couldn’t you have asked one of the girls to come babysit? I’m sure they’d love to spend some time with our dear Harmony?” He said, glancing down at the baby draconequus, happily engaged in a game of seeing how many things she could levitate.
“There’s simply no time to ask them,” Fluttershy said, reappearing with a what looked like a white doctor’s bag. “Every second we spend talking is another second that newborn calf’s life is in danger! I have to get their as quick as possible, and you’re the only one I can trust to watch her.”
Discord sighed, looking full of disappointment as he said, “ But…..Ogres and Oubliettes?”
“I know,” she said, giving him a sympathetic smile, “ but if Captain Wuzz can handle the turemoil and tribulations of his horrid quests, then I’m sure babysitting his daughter for no more than an hour will be nothing for the Lord of Chaos.”
In a flash, Discord snapped into his rolepaying costume. He casually ran his talon through his golden locks and said disinterestedly, “I suppose so.”
Fluttershy gave him a quick peck on the cheek, saying, “ Thank you, Dissy.”
Before Discord had a chance to respond, Fluttershy dashed for the door, calling behind her, “I’ll be back soon don’t let Harmony eat any sugar before four o’clock you know how she is okay I love you both Byeeee-“
The door slammed shut with a bang, causing a gust of wind to blow in Discord’s face. He stood there, watching the door for a few seconds, hoping she might walk back in. All was deathly quite, save the sound teacups shattering into tiny pieces.
Discord looked back at his foal with a resigned, but smug smile. “ Well, guess it’s just you and me squirt.”
Harmony didn't look up at him, she was too busy slamming her mothers China into the wall with her magic.
Discord smirked. “Come on, chickadee, how about you and I have some target practice together.”
It had only been twenty minutes, and Discord was happily occupied with showing Harmony how to properly levitate with aim, when he heard a rhythmic knocking sound. Before you could say ‘chaos’, he teleported to front door, swinging it wide open and shouted gleefully, “ Fluttershy! You’re back! That took no time at- wait. You’re not Fluttershy?”
“ Um, no, I’m not, “ said the teal Pegasus before him, “But I do need to talk to her….is she not home?”
Discord’s smile was gone the instant he recognized who the pony was before him. It was Fluttershy’s hippie brother, Zephyr breeze. He had met him once or twice, and he was probably at their wedding, but Discord couldn’t understand how this boring, egotistical excuse for a flirt could possibly be related to Fluttershy, much less like him. Yet, here he was, checking out his smug smile of pearly white teeth and lies in the reflection of the doorknob.
“ Yes, she isn’t, so you might as well leave,” Discord said, nonchalantly.
Zeypher eyed him, and said slightly annoyed, “Now hold on a second, I came for the sweaters Fluttershy was mending for me and I’m not going until I have them, Fluttershy or not.”
His threat might work a little better if he wasn’t so pathetic. Discord sighed. “ Fine, then do come in Zephyr trees,”he said, stepping aside with a mock bow.
The Pegasus walked in suspiciously, saying, “ It’s Zephyr breeze.”
“My mistake,“ Discord mumbled in a sickeningly pleasant tone.
Discord watched in disgust as Zephyr walked so proudly through his Fluttershy’s house, like he owned the place. Just as he was heading for the stairs, the stallion finally noticed his little niece in the kitchen throwing forks into dart board set up on the cupboard.
“Wow…that looks…dangerous,” he commented, and his fate was sealed.
For Discord got an idea. An awful idea. Discord got a wonderful, awful idea.
Without warning, Dsicord let out a panicked scream that almost sent Zephyr flying out of his fur. He whirled around to find the draconequus staring wide eyed down at a piece of paper, as if it had his death sentence on it. Zephyr waited with baited breath as Discord stood motionless.
“What?” He finally snapped, infuriated at being kept waiting.
“What? WHAT!? I’ll tell you what! It’s the end of the world, is what!” Discord frantically shouted, waving the paper in his face.
Zephyr raised an eye brow. “End of what now?”
“ End. Of. The. World. Weren’t you listening!” He cried, smacking his head with the note. “This is a letter from the high order of supremely celestial beings declaring that the hole in time and space has finally ripped! They need me,the spirit of chaos and disharmony, the purveyor of pandemonium, lord of lawlessness, earl of turmoil, and bringer of bedlam to fix the hole before all is too late!”
He finished dramatically, shaking Zephyr back and forth in despair. The Pegasus struggled out his clutches and said after he had regained his balance, “ Are you serious?”
Discord crossed his arms. “And why wouldn’t I be?”
“ I don’t know…becuase you’re Discord?” He snorted.
“ Oh, you’ll know I’m serious when all of reality starts to melt before your very eyes! Here I am wasting precious seconds talking to you, while the world is unraveling! I must go immediately- Oh! Oh no,oh no,oh no, oh NO” he moaned, bitting his nails in a panic.
“ What? What is it?” Zephyr asked, starting to worry a bit himself.
Discord hesitated. “It’s just, I can’t leave Harmony here by herself, and the end of time and space is not place for an 10th month old. And there’s no time to call a babysitter, I can’t- wait! I’ve got it!” He snapped as he eyed the pony before him.
Zephyr’s pupils quickly dilated as realization struck “Oh no….oh no. I can’t babysit! Certainly not that thing- I’m mean foal. I’m no good with kids!” he pleaded, his voice cracking at the end.
Discord locked an arm around him and said, “ You don’t have to be good with her, you just have to watch her. It will only be for a couple of minutes, while I pop out and fix the universe back up. You can do that, right?”
Zephyr’s brow furrowed; he wasn’t going down without a fight. “ And what if I don’t? You may be the Lord of Chaos or whatever, but you touch one hair on my beautiful mane and Fluttershy will hunt you down.”
Discord pulled away, shrugging as he said, “ Well, if you don’t, then I’ll be forced to take a baby with me to a very dangerous place where she could possibly get hurt, and if she does get hurt, then it will be your fault for not watching her in the first place to keep her safe. Then who will Fluttershy be hunting down, hmm?”
Discord smirked in victory as he saw the Pegasus sweat at the idea. After a few seconds, he said, “ Alright fine, I’ll watch the-“
“Grrrrreat!” Discord yelled, suddenly grabbing his little one from her target practice and shoving her onto his snout. Harmony stuck to him like he was her own personal jungle gym.
“ B-but, Wait! I don’t know how to take care of- I mean, watch her. What do I do?” Zephyr stuttered in alarm.
Dsicord snapped his talon and materialized a long list in one hand and a pair of spectacles in the other. “ Oh, don’t worry, Fluttershy has got a list for this. Everything that’s on it will help you know what you need to do. Just follow it and everything will be fine…or not.”
So saying, he rolled up the scroll and snapped into what looked like a cheesy super hero costume with a big D on the front.
“Welp, gotta a world to save, have fun! Toodle-Loo Zipper Breeze!” He waved and with a poof, he disappeared.
Zephyr looked down at the kid still hanging onto his nose, then at the scroll, then back to the spot where Discord just stood.
“….what….just happened?”
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I like to write dialogues/stories, did I mention that? :3
Discord’s interactions and relationship with Zephyr was something I wanted to explore in this, and I really liked how it turned out. You could say, they’re not exactly buddy-buddy. Just like with tree hugger, I feel like Zephyrs personality would clash with Discord’s. But since he’s married to Fluttershy, he can’t exactly banish her brother to another dimension. Oh well : /
let me me know if you want an epilogue of how Zephyr’s babysitting went.