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Page 120 — RD Is Best Anti-Hero


I had a lot of fun with this one, as you can tell! There are even a few lines that didn't make the cut.

Rainbow Dash: Then the apple farmer convinced the bookworm to drop from a 70-foot cliff. I thought that was hilarious!
Applejack: Context!

The Cast page is now updated with Level 6 stats! Observe and analyze to your heart's content.

Transcript:

DM: Our story began with Twilight Sparkle, personal protégé to Princess Celestia, the immortal and benevolent ruler of the magical land of Equestria. Two days before the Summer Sun Celebration, while Twilight was engrossed in her studies, she stumbled across a dark omen. The Mare in the Moon, a myth from ancient pony times, foretold the return of a terrifying and powerful pony known as Nightmare Moon. The legend said that Nightmare Moon, banished to the moon by the Elements of Harmony 1000 years prior, would make her triumphant return on the longest day of the thousandth year and bring about an everlasting night. Twilight, concerned for the future of Equestria, immediately contacted Princess Celestia with the news.
Rainbow Dash: Woah, woah, woah. Okay, this is gonna take WAY too long. Here’s the short version. The wizard called up the princess but got totally blown off. She got sent away to Ponyville for her trouble. There, the wizard met a bard, a rogue, a ranger, a druid, and most importantly: ME.
DM: Uh-oh.
Rainbow Dash: Nightmare Moon crashed the party, but I chased her right out of town and into the forest!
Applejack: What?! I held you back so she wouldn’t blast you!
Rainbow Dash: We ran right off a cliff, but I alone snatched two party members right out of the air!
Fluttershy: Um, I helped catch Twilight…
Rarity: What about ME?! I nearly DIED!
Rainbow Dash: We battled a Manticore, which only BARELY avoided getting finished off by my Thunder Hooves Rage!
Fluttershy: Yeah… Thanks to me…
Rainbow Dash: Then we got surrounded by fear-trees or something. It wasn’t really a threat, so I let the bard handle it.
Pinkie Pie: You still haven’t heard the rest of the Glib Limerick!
Rainbow Dash: Oh, uh, no! No thanks. That’s alright. Anyway, then the rogue met this purple dragon thing and cut off her own tail for it as a favor. I didn’t go anywhere near that one.
Rarity: I SUFFERED for this group, I tell you!
Rainbow Dash: Then I fixed a bridge and defeated a group of evil clones in one attack!
Twilight Sparkle: After you seriously considered their offer to join them!
Rainbow Dash: Nightmare Moon showed up and started wrecking stuff… but the wizard matched each party member to an Element of Harmony – including me, the ever-loyal Element of Loyalty… and proceeded to smash Nightmare Moon with our ORBITAL FRIENDSHIP CANNON!!
Rainbow Dash: The important thing to take away from this is that Rainbow Dash is the most awesome not-wimpy rainbow pegasus that ever existed. How’s THAT for a recap?
Rarity: Riveting.
Twilight Sparkle: Informative.

Upvotes at import: 12 | Stars at import: 10
Posted previously at: 2019-08-23T20:06:30